Lisette Ross - Site Memorial Online

Video

http://www.tearsofjoyvideo.com/ross.html



 

To our dear David, Caden, and Cole.
We knew with absolute certainty that our precious Lisette is in a very safe place in Jehova's vast memory. He cherishes every memory Lisette had of loving all three of you. You can trust that when she is returned to your waiting arms she will have all her memories returned to her. But you have a job to do while she sleeps to keep your memories alive of her, too.

Talk about her every day. What would she be doing right now, what would she say about some events, action, person or a feeling. Keep remembering her in daily activities. The boys can help you, David. They'll know what Mommy would say or do. But keep memories fresh for them; keep them talking about her! Laugh over her foibles, don't put her on a pedistal of perfection but rather a realistic memory of a really precious but still imperfect person.

When Erryn died I fully intended on keeping a journal in which I would share with Errayn the things she was missing out on seeing and feeling herself. Especially how her brothers and sister grew up, how they coped with her loss; describe wonderful events we experienced and how much we missed having her with us. I didn't do it, which I now regret.

So I'm suggesting for your grieving and healing process to begin that journal for Lisette. Encourage the boys to tell you what to tell her on a daily basis. It may be as simples as "Today I'm feeling_________" "Today I learned______ ". When they learn to express their feelings and not feel guilty about saying that they are angry, disappointed, fearful, suddenly happy or happy to be alive and not feeling guilty about laughing or enjoying life. Then you will have a better pulse on their healing from this trauma to their lives and perhaps even see more clearly how you yourself can get through the pain while understanding theirs. Their pain and grieving will be different than yours, but allow each to grieve as needed both in order and duration of each feeling that threatens to derail you. Grief and mourning seems to come in waves that carries us along to the next stage. 

None of us will be completely done grieving until our loved ones are returned to us. But in time we can speak of them and remember them without pain. We also can be encouraged by the nearness of the end of this system, knowing that Jehovah will raise up the loyal, faithful ones like Erryn and Lisette that died so late in the last days and resurrect them early because they had a longing to participate in bringing the earth back to paradise conditions in preparation for the billions yet to be resurrected and educated. We have so much to look forward to sharing with them!

David, you know how we feel about Lisette but did you know that we believe Jehovah gaver her to us as a precious gift after Erryn died? She helped fill the hole in our lives not just for Paul and I, but also for Kaijah, Gavin, and James. Lisette has been in our lives twice as long as Erryn was and her loss has wounded us all. She filled our lives with her radiant smile and unwavering care, concern and affection. Our whole family was captivated by her and it gave us great pleasure and pride to call her our daughter. This is not to diminish the role Jenny and Joe played but we had our special roles as well and Lisette named us forever her Mommers and Poppers. So we join you and the rest of the family in grief, but not without hope for as a dear sister reminded me long ago- "Remember, the next voice she will hear is our dear Lord Jesus calling her name to awaken her!" Jehovah yearns for the time when Jesus will do this for us and like him, we long for it too. 

We love you and Caden and Cole so very much and look forward to spending time with you very soon- We need your hugs and kisses too! But until then we remain,

Mommers & Poppers and Grammie & Papaul. 

 

I remember the first time I saw Lisette.  My sister in NY had asked if we had met this cool couple who had moved to our area – Dave and Lisette Ross.  We got the opportunity soon after they moved here at a congregation picnic.  When we arrived, I saw Lisette sitting on a picnic blanket wearing a red baseball cap with her long, shiny ponytail looped through the back of the cap.  Her smile dazzled and she looked like something out of a catalog.  I’m sure Dave was there, too… 

We next hung out in Bodega Bay where she and my brother-in-law painted scenes from the dock.  A painting of that day hangs in my living room and I will never pass it without thinking of Lisette.  Our relationship with Dave and Lisette intensified when Dave R. and Dave B. worked together but really got moving when Lisette began her path to motherhood.  Having had two children already, we were part of her case study and she peppered me with questions about motherhood and hypothetical situations for years.  This type of reflective deliberation followed Lisette when she became a mother.  Though she had a clear path in mind on how to mother her children, she was not above examining herself to make sure she was doing it right. 

For six days I have been in disbelief and agony that her life was cut short and so quickly.  I have thought of the many conversations we shared and have tried to sum up how her life affected mine.  Words will fall short but I have concluded that Lisette was inclined toward good but not ever self-righteous.  She was determined but flexible.  She was insightfully inquisitive but never, ever a gossip.  She was not defeatist but steadfast in her course.  She proved that someone can love Jehovah, from a very young age, rely on Him, stick by Him and remain faithful to Him to the end.  She IS an example.

We also have our stories of when we lived in Laguna Niguel and Lisette being such a big part of our lives.  She pioneered with our daughter, Jenny, and so we are Jony Robinson's aunt and uncle, she was a part of our family too which we treasure the memories.  

She was always so zealous and outgoing and enjoyable to be around.  That winning smile keeps coming back into my mind.  She could make the bleakest darkest rainy day a fun time.

We know you will have your spiritual family for support and we just want you to know you will be in our prayers also during thisse final hours before we see her again.  For that day we all pray! 

Oh my sweet friend.  Can this really be?  How can I possibly condense a friendship of this significance, into a mere few paragraphs?  The funny thing is, I bet there are easily 100 people (or more) who would tell you that Lisette Zarate Ross was one of the best friends they ever had.  And you know what?  They would all be right, because that is exactly who she was...the truest of friends.  Here I will share what made her one of the best friends I ever had.

Lisette (and Lori Grant) studied the bible with me throughout my teen years.  Week after week they faithfully showed up and spent their valuable time patiently and tirelessly answering the array of questions I peppered them with (I don't think I was an easy student). They would often pick me up for service after school; Lisette with her trademark, beaming smile.  Lisette had such a LOVE for goodness, that she made being good, cool.  I can truly say that without her influence, I would likely be a lesser person.  But it was almost 20 years ago to the day, that Lisette made it clear that she was not just a teacher or a mentor - she was my friend.  I, along with several other teens in our area, witnessed the murder of a close friend.  I was grief stricken and traumatized, hardly able to funcion and totally unable to sleep.  At this time Lisette was working part-time and pioneering.  Her days were very full.  Yet night after night she would show up at my house, go through the motions of going to bed with me, knowing full well there would be no sleep.  She spent the whole night consoling me through my sleeplessness and distress.  I don't think the poor girl slept for at least three or four nights.  She did it without hesitation and without complaint.  This is who Lisette was.

In time Lisette found that gem of a man, Dave Ross.  I thought I might never forgive Dave for dragging her off to Bethel, but eventually I had to admit that he was everything she said he was, and that she was incredibly happy.  I want to thank Dave for giving Lisette the family life she so deserved, and for giving her two beautiful boys who will no doubt serve as physical reminders of her radiance and beauty, and who I am confident will carry on her legacy of love and goodness.  Until we meet again, my dear friend... I'll carry the image of that beautiful smile in my mind and near my heart, always.